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my husband and i feel like we’re walking on eggshells. for me, it’s like i’m holding my breath all day, shoulders tensing at every turn. this feeling, the waiting for the other shoe to drop, is invasive and has no place in our lives.
it lurks while we are deep in play mode laughing away, tainting the good times. it hangs over every moment, every question. we can’t be making decisions just to avoid an episode. we’ve seen first hand that kids are quick learners and it’ll only hurt them in the long run. so how do we stop walking on eggshells? how do i make this feeling go away?
the first step is always recognition and acknowledgement, right? a wise friend often reminds me “you’re the parent.” maybe it’s as simple as believing in that fact, believing in myself. yesterday, at the end of a lovely day, i actually answered a why not question with an explanation that ended with “…and because i’m the mom and i said so.” never thought i’d use those words, but i did and it was a satisfactory response, according to my four year old who accepted my no and moved on.
maybe we can just make everyday like yesterday. we sat through story time, got through a ten minute wait at the chemist, breezed through the checkout at the supermarket and played at the park for three hours without any dramas.
the day was so good, i thought i’d push my luck and aim for a quiet meal with all of us at the table i recently stumbled upon a quote by charlotte mason “…the mother that takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days.”
during the day, i told j how much we enjoyed sitting and talking with him at dinner. i asked him if he would sit with us for ten minutes when it was dinner time and he agreed. come dinner, he actually sat with us for ten minutes not right off the bat, but we eventually found a topic that drew him to the table. if j sits, f follows so i’d say day one was a success. baby steps, right?