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wave after wave


i first fell in love with the ocean after an afternoon of boogie boarding in the cold waters of tofino, bc. we were all there for my sisters wedding and i’d just been dumped a few days before for a girl my part time dj ex had met at a swim party he was working. i was never a fan of water related activities because it involved tight fitting apparel, but that afternoon made me a convert. not to sound cliche, but the ocean seemed to wash away all that was weighing me down.

as with most kids, all of our boys love the water. to keep the boys entertained while cooking, i often set them up with a sink full of suds. to settle them down before bed, they’ll have a long bath or shower. now that we are living down under, we can easily while away the day at the beach. 

my brother in law recently passed away. f is too young to understand the loss, but j knows all is not right and often asks questions. t had to go out of town for the weekend so i thought we’d head to my in-law’s holiday house with my sister in-law and her partner and let the ocean work it’s magic. we all have colds and hitting a packed beach with three kids is tiring, but it was worth the effort just to see them running through the water without a care in the world. 

tomorrow, we bury uncle m. we were going to bring j so he could say goodbye, but have decided to bring him to the cemetery at a later date instead. it’s hard to help him understand the permanence of death. maybe he doesn’t need to. maybe it’s not a bad thing to just let him keep on looking up at the sky and talk to uncle m and not focus on moments like when he tells us to stop the car because uncle m just fell from the sky and is un-dead. maybe we can just keep heading to the ocean and let the water heal us all, one wave at a time.


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